Wishing you a metrosexual year

It’s been a while, good people; and now we are in the New Year, yippie!

All the more reason why, in giving yourself that revamp of new energies and promises for a better life ahead, your dress sense, general grooming and entire etiquette must get better.

It’s often said that a change is as good as a rest, literally meaning it’s often as refreshing to make a change as it is to have a break. But in this New Year, we will only talk changes. What more offers you the best shot at change than fashion? We shall see new trends as the year takes shape. Who knows, lime green suits could return.

First, though, what’s your new promise for 2016? Without taking ‘resolution’ too seriously, there should be those things that have to be in place if you must be a better, metrosexual man this year!

And so, in keeping with global trends, I landed on this “The unofficial Goldman Sachs guide to being a man” –quite an interesting read. It swings you from basic decorum and etiquette into the art of socialisation and taking one’s place as ‘the man’. It props up the machoism in every guy and by the time you are done with the entire list, it would be safe to assume you are superman. But I am out to make you superman today.

January is not the best time for cash talk, but the guide is simple: “always carry cash”. Need I say more?

And if you planned on having that dream tattoo, the guide is explicit: “You will regret your tattoos”. Now imagine tattooing yourself with her name only for her to be your ex as the year closes; isn’t that the part where you almost volunteer the arm for amputation?

Talking about the ex-factor, don’t go about dating your friend’s ex. Yes, they said it! I know many with that hyena mentality – never again, please!

There are always great dividends from being intelligent, or at least appearing to be so. To this end, Goldman Sachs prescribes you join specifically Twitter, of the available information platforms. No doubt, curating information intelligently is a better pastime than falling in love with a whisky. Whiskies don’t love you back.

I am no fan of the undershirt, maybe because I am lucky not to make those patches in the armpit area; but if you perspire, for crissake, wear an undershirt this year. A vest helps, but for extreme cases, an undershirt with short sleeves is magical.

The guide is harsh on guys who make fools of themselves, even at parties or the bar. You do not have to be the loud drunk guy or the regular at every party, even that to which you were not invited.

As for keeping in shape, there is no compromise. You do not need the Goldman Sachs guide to tell you that 50 push-ups a day before the morning shower will keep the abs on form. Just say to yourself that this year, you will only reduce waist size, not a milli-inch up!

And treat the ladies just fine; no matter the provocation, just do not lay your hands on her – even if that’s the zodiac sign of love in their culture! Happy new year, folks!

Oh, I almost forgot this one; no selfies! Mbu “Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman”.  Nuf sed.

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